What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

Do women like men who have slept with many women?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What! how could you do that?

Do you think Japan will have same-sex marriage by 2030?

What do you mean son?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What happened to The Simpsons deleted onscreen footage?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”